Episode #38 Why is it so HARD to be a Grown-Up?
Have you ever played sports with an injury? It's a vulnerable spot to be in. There are very real limitations to how you'll be able to perform, so you're faced with a choice:
Compete, or don't compete ...or compete, but blame your shortcomings on your injury.
Now the emotional adult, will either choose to compete or choose not to compete
"I choose not to run" - Jerry Seinfeld.
If you choose to compete as an emotional adult, you risk being judged, you risk people assessing your ability, people measuring your value ...all based on a performance below your potential. That's scary!! It can also be empowering and freeing. You will be forced to show up for YOU. Forced to remember it's not about THEM - that it is OK for people to be wrong about you. Forced to check in on the source of your value, the foundation of your self-worth. Is it in winning? Is it in your friends' opinions of you? Or does it come from somewhere inside you?
We all live life with "injuries" - we probably call it baggage - that we like to blame for our lack or our shortcomings. It's a lot like a sports injury, but there are two HUGE differences. These injuries are often completely out of our control and so there's no option to wait for them to heal. And choosing not to compete doesn't work. We try via social media, Netflix, alcohol, food ...etc, but sitting on the sidelines of your life is NOT a long-term solution. It only causes more problems.
That leaves us with only one responsible choice. COMPETE!! Get in the game. Make your peace with your limitations, then come up with a plan to show up anyway. Resist the temptation to blame your past, blame your struggles, blame others when times are hard. Resist the temptation to point out how it's OK for you to stay stuck because your "injuries" won't allow anything else. Instead, LEARN how to thrive in the exact situation you're in. Find gratitude for your baggage and the strength you've gained from carrying it. CHOOSE to thrive anyway by taking responsibility for your outcomes.